Thursday, February 7, 2008

You're Gone

My friend's close kin has just left him because of illness and i read another of my friend's blog that her grandma left her mum when she is very young.. Suddenly.. i just felt for them..I can't say i understand how they are feeling as i didn't go through that reality, but it must have been really really painful. Painful to the extent that words cannot describe how they feel. The only experience that i had is when i was sec.4. My friend, who is a really bubbly and fun-loving boy, (15 years old only) had contracted cancer and the cancerous cells had spread to his leg such that the doctors had to amputate it. He was sick for a very long time and didn't come to school. We weren't say very close..but he will call me on phone occassionally.. I went to visit him in hospital during his last few months and he looks really very fragile. He was on tubes, many tubes. I was shocked. knowing that he himself had only a few more weeks left, one of his wishes is to come back to school to visit his friends and teachers for the last time. He arranged to come back on this fateful day. But..before he could come back to school..he passed away on the day before. I was really devastated. It's like, how could a young man passed away just like that. And it all happened so quickly.. His grandma is very upset as he is the only grandson in the family.

I just felt that we have, HAVE to cherish everyone that is around us, especially our closest kin. It's not being paranoid but just telling them and yourself that they are priceless. No amount of gold and silver on earth is exchangeable for their presence in our lives.. I guess..sometimes we will take people for granted..Today..let's really tell ourselves and make a committment to love the people around us...

You're gone,
I couldn't see your shadow
Nor sense your scent
I tried finding you in my cupboard,
In my living room,
But i couldn't.

Where are you? I said.
Are you gone?
I cried, i screamed, I shouted,
but there is no response.
I collapsed on my knees.

Are you gone?
I felt as if strength being sucked away from me
I hid myself from reality
I hid myelf from your departure.
Are you still gone?

I went to your pillow,
Hug it, kiss it, carry it,
But i couldn't reach you.
I found a letter beneath the pillow.
There it wrote:

Dear Girl, I'm gone.
Don't look for me elsewhere.
I am somewhere where you can't go now.
Even if you jump, fly, dive,
you will not be able to find me.

I treasure you all my days.
Every single day with you is a bliss.
I like to see you eat, sleep, play, study.
I laugh with you, I cry with you.
Do you cherish me the way i do?"

I cried. You're gone.
I'm sorry.. I didn't
I will.
You know, i've learnt.
Cherishing people the way you cherish me.

I stood there, holding on to the letter.
Tears dropping down from my face.
You're gone.
You're really gone...
Gone..

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

HMM mama! i tink i noe which 15yr old guy ur toking abt:) wah din noe u noe him leh!