Narcissism

I'm currently reading on this book called, "Enough about You, Let's talk about me" by Dr Les Carter. This book talks about narcissistic behaviors, why does someone become a narcissist, the patterns of narcissists, and dealing with narcissists in our lives. I only just started reading it and I learnt quite a few things! Shall share a bit

Here are some of the common traits of a narcissists :)

1) An inability to empathize.

They could not muster an understanding or sympathethic reaction to other's emotions or concers and they generate great frustration as they rationalize that the world would be a better place if others just quit being so wrong in ways they feel and reaction.

For instance:

Friend says, " I feel that you should just try to understand how i felt about this issue.."

Narcissist: " I was really terrible having to live with you whose emotions are so consistently off base!"

Or he/she would just interrupt conversations most of the time and talk about them.

2) Manipulative or exploitive behavior.

They will pretend to be nice and friendly at first. They will do something for you in return that you do something more for them! =X And uses emotion threats.

Eg. "you remember i did for you the other time?? why can't u help me out this time??!"

3) "You Owe Me" : A sense of entitlement

They will say, "What have you done for me in our friendship/ relationship??"

" You owe me this!"

4) Nothing goes in: Inaiblity to take direction

Girl friend, " Dear, we have been spending a lot of time with ur friends, can we spend some time with my girl friends? i haven't met them for a long time."

Narcissistic Boyfriend: "Those people aren't my type. I will not have you telling me who I should spend time with! "

5) Insatiable need for control

They display their need for control thru various means. Some us obvious behavior like being forceful, bossy, bullying, stubborn or argumentative. other may use more covert behaviors like, punishing withdrawal, feigning agreement, slandering others etc..

6) A haughty or judgemental spirit, "you are so wrong!"

For instance, when they come to your house, they will critize almost every single thing about ur hse decorations, the color of ur walls, the photographs that are on ur desk.

or When friend says, " I feel hurt."

Narcissistics will reply, "well that's just stupid. I can't believe you think that way. you are wrong!"

7) Unwillingness to acknowledge reality.

They do not live in truth. They live in their own world.
For instance, if u wanna tell them to lightening up their temper, they would say, "If you put me up against any other person, you will find that i have far more balanced emotions than them!"

8) Lethal Charm: Ability to create favourable impressions.

Despite the destructive nature of this personality profile, many of them have a history of appearing friendly and agreeable-at first! They seem to know that if the display their selfishness too quickly, they will be shunned, so they keep it under wraps until they have gained a foothold in another's life. so scary!!! roars!!

haha, i think that most of us have a certain degree of narcissism. Some have a very little tiny bit, some have large portion of it.

Shall blog more about this again!! All contents are from the book :)

Personally, i don't wanna judge anybody coz i know who am i to judge people. However in my personal experiences, i did met up with ppl who fits in the above traits in my life course. haha but thankfully only a few :)

In the later part of the book, the author will talk about how not to become a victim of them. Let's see how! :)